In this Instagram video, you see a confrontation with a Big Mouth Angry Guy. He goes against virtually every verbal de-escalation rule that we teach but does go to show that anything, as unstrategic as it is, does have a chance of working depending on your goals. Most times, this approach has a high probability of escalating the potential for violence. In this Instagram video, you see a confrontation with a Big Mouth Angry Guy. He goes against virtually every verbal de-escalation rule that we teach but does go to show that anything, as unstrategic as it is, does have a chance of working depending on your goals. Most times, this approach has a high probability of escalating the potential for violence. Here are just a few of the things he says.
“Step the Fu… Back!”
He is giving a command. It appears by his body language and demeanour that this typically works for him. Works as far as intimidating the person he conflicts with. But it is not delivered with any attempt to resolve the conflict leaving the other guy feeling good about himself.
“Calm the Fu…Down!”
Yelling calm down will rarely get the desired result. Again, he yells it powerfully, and he is telling the other guy what to do. How many of us like to be told what to do, particularly by some loudmouth?
“I am Warning You!”
He is threatening him. He threatens him with implied consequences. The warning, along with the positioning of being superior, often escalates the conflict.
“I Didn’t Touch your Sh…t!”
He is calling him a liar. People don’t like to be told they are wrong, along with the insult of calling his bike shit.
And on and on with the threats, commands, etc. The angry guy proceeds to stand in front of the motorcycle. See, I guess that because he is a big guy, he has been able to use his size and a big mouth to intimidate most people into getting what he wants. Because this works for him (until he meets someone not intimidated by him), many might think, or many self-defense teachers might teach to use a similar approach, but this can be very dangerous for several reasons.
1) Rarely will someone be intimidated by you if they have chosen you as their potential victim.
2) Telling someone what to do when they deem themselves superior will only escalate things.
3) If your projection of being a badass fails, do you have the physical abilities to back it up cause that’s likely the direction you are going.
My recently launched book, “DISARM DAILY CONFLICT- Your Life Depends On It,” takes you on a journey examining conflict. It discusses what it is, the different types, the Dos and Don’ts of conflict, all with the desired goal of a win-win-win resolution. Most people only see the conflict from the perspective of who is conflicting, but maybe, more importantly, those who are affected if the conflict ends tragically.
Nowadays, you can almost be sure that someone is recording your conflict and that recording can either help you or work against you if it gets physical, resulting in injury to either party. And if it occurs with you harming another person, you can be sure that recording will be used to determine if the force you used was necessary.
I mentioned there was a third “win” in conflict. Yes, those you hope to return home to. If your actions are negligent, you have now brought your loved ones into the equation bringing an emotional, financial, and psychological cost. If your actions land you in jail, how do you think your family is going to feel? And how about the person you may have harmed, hurt, or killed? The conflict goes far beyond two guys yelling at each other, one backing down and the other guy or guy feeling like the “man” or “woman.”
These are just a few of the topics we discuss in my book. If might be interested in purchasing it, please visit one of the following Amazon sites.
Thanks & Keep SAFE!
Managing Director, SAFE International