My Child Will Grab The Steering Wheel to Save Me!
Imagine if your eight-year-old child told you, “Mom/Dad, if a deer suddenly cuts out in front of the car, don’t worry. I will grab the steering wheel and guide us to safety, so we don’t crash.”
Wouldn’t you laugh and the first words out of your mouth being, “But you don’t even know how to drive!”
What do you think the chances of your child protecting you are with all the limitations of the seat belt, distance from the steering wheel, and microsecond to react? Possibly most important, they are a child and have no idea how to drive.
Sounds insane, and maybe I am totally off base, but aren’t there some parallels between violence prevention and self-defence, even if not so clear-cut?
I lost count years ago on how many people have said things, like when I ask people if they have considered learning self-defence. Just a few replies are.
My husband will protect me.
My dog will save me.
My pepper spray will protect me.
Let’s look at this a bit deeper.
The most common is my “husband will protect me.” So one of my first questions is, “how do you know?” I don’t accept the commonly given answer, “I just know.” Instead, I might say, “oh, so he has had to protect you in the past, so you have seen it in action?” Unfortunately, I can’t recall a time when the person has had an example.
Sometimes people believe it because their partner told them they would protect them, or some just feel it by seeing their partner as a protector without any reasonable proof. But we would think it nuts that our child would protect us while driving without experience, knowledge, or limitations.
I am not saying someone without violence prevention, and self-defence can’t protect someone. There are countless examples, but when people tell me they KNOW with no examples, I need to pursue it a bit further.
How about learning about violence prevention and self-defence so if one faces a potential threat, they now have some education? If they already have some or have that built-in ability to protect, they have dramatically increased it with some additional knowledge.
We would never let out teens drive without extensive education on how to drive, react to other drivers, and handle a breakdown or emergency.
And I also take issue with some who pronounce they will protect their family out of ego. Still, inside they have fears telling them, if they are being honest, they do not know what they would do, just banking on it never happening—easily solved by learning and getting some basic personal safety training.
Or perhaps worst is how often women have told me their partners are quick to snap, react, and conflict with others, putting them at risk. Often they have no vital reason other than attempting to appear as the family protector when it is not even a scenario where someone needs protecting. This person will often choose to conflict with someone they know they can intimidate, but if an actual conflict presents itself with someone they have not chosen, they will back down.
I am even aware of one guy who was quick to mouth off a group of guys from his car. Unfortunately, they followed the couple in their car, and when they got out of the car and came face to face, he fled, leaving his girlfriend with the group of guys. Thankfully, they left her alone.
I am saying that those with a vast amount of education or experience always seek more education to protect themselves and their loved ones. Of course, these people will do everything they can to avoid violence, but they have a chance if it comes. They are not usually the loud mouth out in public prepared to put their loved ones at risk in some pitiful show of ego.