Does This Solve Anything?
This video says this young man just got home before his bully could grab him. But, in the comments, one person says the boy ran to a friend’s house, and it was his father who confronted the bully.
Does this scare the bully from victimizing him in the future?
Does this cause the victim to receive worse treatment in the future?
Or is there no difference?
I have no issue with the father coming out and confronting him since he is on his property, but I would love it if the father had some knowledge of bullying and might have had a chat with the bully.
Yes, the bully has the right to protect themself.
Yes, the bully should receive some penalty for any abusive actions. However, you can bet there are no consequences at the school, where I am sure they have zero tolerance for bullying. By the way, zero tolerance is too easy to claim and a copout from taking responsibility and putting the blame where it is on the bully.
BUT…A BIG BUT, we also need to help the bullies. Why do they act like this? Various reasons.
- They may be bullied and abused at home, and since the control strategy works on them, they use it on others they deem vulnerable.
- Perhaps they have no role models or guidance from parents who do not see them as a priority, more an inconvenience.
- Maybe it’s the only way they feel respected, so they believe it brings them popularity.
- Many other possibilities, BUT maybe they want help, but they have no idea how to express that or ask for help.
Before we all attack the bully, we might ask them some questions, offer support, and be there to listen with empathy.
We might realize why they are choosing their behaviour and how they are young, not knowing any other options.
As I teach in all violence prevention and self-defence seminars, “I do not have definite answers, but I have many options.”
Help the bullies, give them a chance and some options. This is not to excuse their behaviour or not physically take action when necessary, but to look deeper into the whys.